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Again, this is merely a reflection of the collapse in the value of sterling causing a huge increase in the price of aviation fuel in the run-up to Brexit.To help you pass the time until we can push back from the stand, our chief purser George Osborne will be distributing free copies of our award-winning, in-flight magazine, the London Evening Standard.

This is yet another consequence of Brexit, since we are no longer bound by EU rules governing minimum space for air passengers and are free to pack you in like veal calves.

I am also aware some of you have complained about the 100 per cent fare surcharge levied since you booked your flights.

Tonight we will be flying by the seat of our pants and our eventual destination is uncertain. This is due to severe problems in the baggage handling section because all EU nationals formerly employed by British Airways have returned home following the Brexit vote.

The difficulty has been compounded by a wildcat strike by members of Unite, demanding an end to the airline’s austerity programme and the immediate appointment of Jeremy Corbyn as managing director.

I would recommend you read the excellent and informative articles therein, notably some particular favourites of mine: BREXIT GIVES YOU CANCER and THAT USELESS OLD BAT THERESA MAY MUST GO NOW!

You may also care to enjoy our excellent in-flight entertainment system, which features a variety of classic BBC programmes, including interviews with leading politicians and industrialists warning that millions of jobs will be lost and house prices will tumble when Britain leaves the EU.Our music selection from the Proms is Beethoven’s Ode To Joy.Tonight’s movie choice is the BAFTA-nominated Project Fear, an apocalyptic morality tale, directed by Ken Loach and starring Stephen Fry.You should also stow your tray tables, not so much for safety reasons but because the in-flight food on offer this evening is frankly inedible.Since Britain decided to leave the EU, we are only able to source our catering supplies from local suppliers.We are also now forced to rely on exclusively British technology at check-in and, to be honest, our clapped-out old Amstrad computers are not even up to the simple task of printing boarding passes.

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