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The formula will be untampered with and the success will be repeated a second, a third and sometimes even a fourth time.

Being blokes it was easier writing it the way we did. Also, being on the dole gives you a clearer perspective on how much of society is run.

If you are already a musician stop playing your instrument. It will become clearer later on but just take our word for it for the time being.

TO RECEIVE THIS GUARANTEE PLEASE WRITE TO KLF PUBLICATIONS, BOX 283, HP21 7HG, U. WITH YOUR NAME, ADDRESS AND A PHOTOCOPY OF YOUR PURCHASE RECEIPT AND AN S. “HOW TO HAVE A NUMBER ONE – THE EASY WAY” Be ready to ride the big dipper of the mixed metaphor.

GUARANTEE – HOW TO OBTAIN IT WE GUARANTEE THAT WE WILL REFUND THE COMPLETE PRICE OF THIS MANUAL IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO ACHIEVE A NUMBER ONE SINGLE IN THE OFFICIAL (GALLUP) U. CHARTS WITHIN THREE MONTHS OF THE PURCHASE OF THIS MANUAL AND ON CONDITION THAT YOU HAVE FULFILLED OUR INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER. WE WOULD LIKE TO THANK MARIE O’FLAHERTY FOR HER DEDICATION AND HARD WORK ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY AND WITHOUT WHOM WE WOULD NOT HAVE COMPLETED THIS MANUAL.

The myth of a band being gang of lads out “against” the world (read as “to change”, “to shag” or “to save the world”) is pure wishful thinking to keep us all buying the records and reading the journals. Any more than two of you and factions develop and you may as well be in politics. Remember, Top of the Pops is all powerful and has outlasted all the greats (Cliff being the exception to the rule). ” outsider stance only gets you so far and even then takes sodden years and ends up with you alienating vast chunks of the Great British public who don’t want to be confronted with Jim Reid’s skin problem on a Thursday evening.

Mind you, it’s a myth that many band members want to believe themselves. There is no place for the nostalgia of the four lads who shook the world or the last gang in town. I repeat, take Top of the Pops to your bosom and learn to love the platform that matters the most.

Now, we all know that pop music is not going to save the world but it does, undeniably, create a filing system for the memory banks.

If parts get too boring just fast forward – all the way to the end if need be.

What was once yours for a few days will now enter the public domain. You will, however, see through our lies and grasp the shining truth within. Our insights will be shot through with distort rays and we will revel in our own inconsistencies.

Other than achieving a Number One hit single we offer you nothing else. Fame will flicker and fade and sex will still be a problem. We will lie to you but we will lie to ourselves as well.

THE FOREVER ANCIENTS LIBERATION LOOPHOLE KLF PUBLICATIONS, BOX 283, HP22 5BW KLF PUBLICATIONS IS A KLF COMMUNl CATIONS COMPANY KLF COMMUNICATIONS 1988 FIRST PUBUSHED 1988 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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