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Even when this is not the case, the pairing of a child with a difficult temperament (a child that is fussy and easily excitable by nature and difficult to soothe) paired with unreceptive, stressed out, or normative parents contributes towards the maintenance and further development of a difficult personality; lashing out, suicidal gestures, and self-depreciation become the hallmark of the individual with BPD.Constant feelings of emptiness prompt her to seek stimulation from the outside.What do all the films and print stories have in common? Dating a person with BPD is not part of your deal – or so you thought.

” Sooner rather than later he starts to resent walking on eggshells around his lover.

I use the pronoun his because more women are diagnosed with BPD; men instead earn the label antisocial much easier.

She tries to gauge her self-image at any given situation by interpreting the expressions of others (kind of the blind leading the blind giving her over-sensibility). Hopefully, this evokes some compassion – imagine how scary when you are just drifting at the mercy of what you believe others may do or think.

As Marsha Linehan (1993), one of the foremost researchers in the treatment of BPD proclaims in her book Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder over 70% of patients with BPD present with histories of childhood sexual abuse.

There is no middle ground when standing at the borderline.

The individual with BPD does not have an inner center; she does not know who she is.

Most real-life relationships with a partner who has BPD are not deadly.

Nevertheless the healthy mate wonders, “Why are we on these constant roller coaster rides?

Many individuals with BPD have a history of brief and intensive relationships that ended prematurely and badly. Quite often the healthy partner leaves (or runs); he can’t deal with the emotional outbursts and relational roller coaster.

Often the individual with BPD threatens self-harm or cuts to release tension.

These behaviors are sometimes perceived as manipulative: To get attention and one’s needs met – “I need you here; you can’t leave; I show you why.” Scared and emotionally drained partners generally seek advice on how to get out; others are still confused about their partner’s behavior. ” When the partner with BPD travels the roller-coaster of emotions (it’s a habit and due to the lack of coping skills not because it feels good) the healthier partner feels overwhelmed and describes his situation as being “stuck between a rock and a hard place;” feeling bad and responsible hence unable to leave her, he states his partner gets “incredibly angry and sometimes physically and verbally abusive.” What follows is a pattern of submissive, self-loathing behaviors.

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