Dating a guy with kids and an ex wife

“I know it’s against your nature,” she said,”but when it comes to his kids, be a cat, not a dog. (Beth Reno)David’s daughters are sweet and smart, loving and funny and generous and affectionate … I tried to relax, think of the stretch of time ahead of us, remind myself there’s no rush.

You’re going to want to hug them and bond with them, but it’ll be better if you relax and hang back. I had already fallen in love with their father, so what would I do if they didn’t like me? “He’s a director,” I told my friend L., absently fiddling with the lighter in my hand. Because my own parents are divorced, I know what it’s like when Dad has a girlfriend.

I had become accustomed to our time alone: picnics at the Hollywood Bowl and the Greek Theatre, decadent meals at Black Market Liquor Bar and Gjelina, ocean-side walks in Santa Monica.

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“He’s a director,” I told my friend L., absently fiddling with the lighter in my hand. We went to Club 33 at Disneyland and he treated me to couples massages and pool time at the Four Seasons spa. I was starting to wonder what our relationship would look like when it became a story for four, instead of two.

He gave me tennis lessons and I dragged him to yoga class. But my favorite thing was always cuddling on the couch and talking.

It was a long wait — we are both in our mid-40s — but well worth it. I had never dated anyone with children, and I never wanted my own. She’d called when we were driving to the Mark Taper Forum in downtown Los Angeles, and we put her on speakerphone while I remained silent because she didn't yet know her dad was dating.

There was no coffee rendezvous; he took me to the fantastically romantic Il Cielo in Beverly Hills on our first date, and we’ve been together ever since. My dating profile indicated that I was open to it, but the gesture was theoretical. We want to publish your story I remember the first time I heard his youngest daughter's voice.

This is not to say I’m invisible, merely respectful. I resist my own nature and slow down, try to remain responsive to the girls’ needs, subordinate my own. A.” plan: Dodgers games and UCLA basketball, school plays and holiday events, and it’s just as easy to get tickets for four.

As part of an entrepreneurial project, David’s elder was selling homemade lip gloss, and when I offered to buy some, her sister said, “Well, it’s kinda like you’re family, so you should get the family discount! I knew I’d fall for David from the moment we met, but I had no idea I’d fall in love like this: utterly openhearted to his two beautiful girls. I’m a little bit jealous, because mothers and fathers have a clear role.we’ll see about you.”We have tried to do all the “right” things: plenty of father-daughter time without me, consistent respect for their mom, a slow pace and patient approach.But it’s still hard sometimes, and I think about Jennifer’s advice quite a bit. Instead, I find hundreds of articles about how to advance and evolve, take steps forward.Katy Barratt, 30, and Dan, 42, have been together for over a year. Here, Kate reveals how dating a divorced man with a ready-made family has shaped their own relationship I first met Dan seven years ago when he was married to someone else.They had a child, and another on the way, so although there was an instant attraction he was off-limits.Mine is special but unclear, constantly negotiated. I don’t want to be Mom, but maybe someday I’ll be more than “Dad’s girlfriend” to them.

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