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His mother had been given Tony Attwood’s first book and recognized within it characteristics and situations similar to these encountered by both Robert and herself as a parent.Robert has felt moved to write about Asperger’s – both his own experience with it and also the help that is available out there to others – now, because there are more people both being born with it and also being diagnosed with it retrospectively, in later life.

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We need to do it if we want to do it and not be old we cannot because we are Aspies and will find it too difficult or too painful.

Robert discovered he had Asperger’s at the age of 20, quite by chance.

Use lots of positive words and phrases, such as really; what I like about this; why I really like. What you are looking to do here is to plant seeds of interest in your prospective partner’s mind.

You’re more likely to do that successfully if you come across as open, upbeat and honest.

The intentions may be good but I still argue here and now that it is a mistake nonetheless. A good habit here, is to repeat, just casually, the last two or three words that the other person in the conversation has said to us. As well as being embarrassing, mistakes can be fun and you can learn from them too. Far more than being taken aside for “a wee word” and being told again all the things we’ve done wrong and why we shouldn’t have done them.

What I want you to do now is to imagine yourselves in a social setting. It could be you are out with a group of friends, maybe in a café or a pub. That, again, is a good way of telling them that you are both interested in what they re saying to you and, more importantly, that you have been listening to them. Trust me, as painful as dating will be at times, there will be some funny experiences. There are lots of people around about you but they are all tied up with each other. Dating is a part of life in which, like all others, we will stand or fall, succeed or fail by just keeping on trying.

People lose interest if you tell them too much too quickly. Always having been taken aside as a teen and a young adult and been told things like .

Well-intentioned as this might have been, its ultimate effect was to make me think I wasn’t good enough. Be yourself and don’t try to be the person that you think the wider world wants to see.

So, my aim in constructing my new dating profile was to keep it short and keep it simple. Just a simple bit of advice, given to me off the cuff by a colleague in an everyday conversation. Just about every TV show has in it at least one couple who are building up a relationship, who are having both fun and difficulties in doing so.

In general, they are surrounded by friends and family who are always on hand to offer them help, advice and emotional support, just when they happen to need it the most.

One of the first bits of advice I got when researching dating for Aspies was, just be you.

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